I read Dear Abby daily, and since starting this project, I have been cutting and saving letters from her column whenever I suspect they would make a good setup to one of my smartass answers. Interestingly, for the most part, the only ones I’ve completed are the letters for which my answer starts composing itself in my head almost immediately as I’m reading. I have saved away nearly a dozen letters that have potential but haven’t “clicked” for me yet. Some of them never will. But it’s still a fun diversion and I hope I’m providing a few chuckles along the way.

At this point, I’ve been doing this for over eight months, and I have yet to receive a cease and desist notice from the I’m Dear Abby And Don’t You Forget It Corporation. So until such time, allow me to present another collection of “Dear Mike,” in which I dispense the advice that Abby can’t (or won’t).