“Flat fee my foot! I get residuals, or ye can hawk yer own goddamn cereal!”

Is it just me, or are you getting sick of Shrek as well?

The guy is everywhere. This marketing blitz is unlike anything I have seen. Here is a partial list of the products currently adorned with the ogre’s chartreuse countenance: Sierra Mist. Frosted Flakes. Froot Loops. Pop-Tarts. Snickers. M&M’s. Cheez-Its. Keebler cookies.

Even my beloved McDonald’s has been infiltrated, although the company claims they intend to use Shrek to promote their healthier items.

Good luck with that.

At the same time, Shrek appears in a public service spot for Health and Human Services, encouraging kids to exercise regularly.

That’s just what kids need to hear from an overweight, bile-colored monster who peddles junk food like a ballpark vendor.

I suppose the folks at Dreamworks are cashing in while they can. While the first film was terrific and the sequel still highly entertaining, reviews of Shrek the Third indicate that Shrek may have jumped the shark. So they’re going to use him in every way possible while the character still has merchandising potential. I wouldn’t be surprised to see Shrek hawking male enhancement products anytime soon.

I still plan on seeing the movie, primarily because the Shrek films have been great showcases for state-of-the-art computer animation. They’re worth seeing just for the eye candy. My jaw dropped (in the second one, I think) when a close up of Shrek’s face was so detailed that you could see skin pores. An amazing achievement, but it does remind me of one of my own rules…

Mike’s First Rule of Technology: Just because something can be accomplished with technology does not mean it should be. Examples: Happy Feet, spray-on hair, billionaire space tourists, Britney Spears’ singing voice.

So I’ll catch Shrek the Third this weekend, and no doubt I’ll be wowed once again by the visuals, if not the script. And after that, if I never see Shrek again, that’ll be just fine with me.